December, 2007
Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of All Ages,
Step right up and grab a seat for the greatest show on earth – our annual holiday letter. Without further delay, we present to you “The Year in Review”:
Dec 2006/Jan 2007 - No year is complete without giving your hard earned bucks to the four-fingered mouse on the high seas. Yes, we took a trip on a memorable NYE Disney Cruise. In one last testament to the Bermingham travel curse, the kids bags were accidentally tagged and sent to the other warm weather location – not Florida, but HAWAII. With Delaney on the FBI no-fly list, and the baggage now in Hawaii, we have confirmed that the travel curse is definitely hereditary. For those of you that can’t get enough of our family chaos, send Su an e-mail and you too can read the tome of our cruise – 20,000 other folks did online, now you can too! For Christmas, Su gets Dave his annual iPOD in hopes that this year, he’ll maybe be able to keep it for at least 12 months.
February - Good bye to our carefree Februarys where nothing good happens. We could have written a novel on February alone. To start, Su gets snowbound in Philadelphia for two days. After finally getting on a plane headed home, Su is stranded on the runway for six hours only to turn back to the gate. The gate agents told everyone to stay in the gate area, which is code for “If you’re smart, try to go stand by on another flight.” After Su puts her name on the stand by list she returns to her original gate to check the status on her malfunctioning plane – only to find out that United has apparently given her first class seat away. Su chooses some words that are not fit for print – and clearly not learned at Wheaton College – only to be told “Another peep out of you and we’re calling security.” Once back in Chicago, our family gets great news – Warner Bros. is interested in using our house for a top secret movie. If our house makes it to the finals of the beauty contest, none other than Christopher Nolan and his crew would be checking out our humble abode in person. So, on a wintry day, we cleaned up the house and welcomed Christopher Nolan and about a dozen of his crew to sniff around the house…and soon after declared it unworthy of movie stardom. Alas, our home was not bat-worthy, and a new bat cave would have to be found. We’ve rationalized our heartbreak by saying, “Well, what if they wanted to use it at Batman’s drug-house…that would be really embarrassing, wouldn’t it?”
March - Max finishes his terrible two’s and enters…his terrible three’s. And for the third year in a row, Dave enjoys his annual “Mancation” – yes, that would be a ski trip with the boys while Su collects her points by watching the kids at home. Soon, Su will have collected enough good-will vacation credits to travel around the world…alone. Dave goes on a business trip to California, with both sets of car keys. With a spare car key in hand, but no way to get into the garage, Southside Sandy comes to Su’s rescue and within seconds has broken into the garage. On a separate note, sad but true, Dave’s new video iPOD only lasted 3 months before it turned up lost. Looks like Su knows what Dave is getting for Christmas this year.
April - Su, Dave and Jack all celebrate birthdays in April which makes us really old, not as old, and a mere 5 years old. As Easter rolls around, we once again spend it in Michigan with Su’s parents. As the grandparents watch the kids, Dave and Su once again trek to dinner in the country. Upon returning home, Su swerves and instead of missing, hits the raccoon dead on. Being the second year in a row that we have created Easter road kill (Dave killed the Easter Bunny last year); we are beginning to get concerned that we have created a new family Easter tradition. Word to the all the Michigan critters – stay off the roads when the Oliveiras are in town.
May - Everyone has heard of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy…how about The Toenail Fairy? It’s true, Jack stubbed his toe and his toe-nail had to be removed by the great Dr. Pete. After putting the toe nail under Jack’s pillow, the Toe Nail fairy brought Jack enough money to buy something extra special. Unfortunately, on the Toe Nail Fairy’s flight to Jack’s room, it hit a 50’ tree in front of the house and knocked it over, crushing the car across the street. Apparently the Toe Nail Fairy needs to get its wings checked. Su took Jack to buy his Toe Nail gift and after purchasing, caught Jack praying in the back seat, “Dear Lord, thank you so much for helping the Toe Nail Fairy get to my house, I love my new toy and I don’t even miss my toe nail.” Delaney, our capitalist pig child, is jealous of Jack’s new toy and we find her trying to pry off her toenails, one by one.
June - Su ends up in the ER and gives the family the gift that keeps on giving – Parvovirus! We’re quick to point fingers at the dog, but apparently parvovirus can’t be transmitted from animal to human. Unless you are talking about our family, then all bets are off. “Umm…adults don’t usually get parvovirus….” Every two weeks, each kid comes down with it – and like good children, they do it in chronological order. Other parents run in fear of our kids, but we know that nothing says family like a case of Parvovirus. Our long time nanny, Bridget, heads off for a month’s vacation in Belize while Su’s niece Kassie nervously signs up for Oliveira Day Camp. Welcome to Chicago Kassie!
July - Tis the season of the Chicago monsoon, both inside and outside. While Kassie is corralling our kids into some semblance of order, a plumbing problem has it raining from the second floor to the first. The next day, Mother Nature furious and not be outdone by a mechanical issue, whips up a fury of her own. 8” of water in the basement and sewage back-up has Kassie counting down the minutes until her return flight to LA. Su beats about 50 other customers at the local hardware store for the last wet vac. Of course, Dave chooses to be in California during the great flood, likely to try to find his missing iPOD. Our basement resembles the Chicago reclamation district and while the kids would like to swim in our new sewage pool, we suggest that perhaps we find alternate activities for the tykes. On Friday the 13th, Bridget is expected back in town from her month away and Kassie packs her bags and heads home. We find out on the 14th that Bridget has gone AWOL and we are without care for the kids. Without batting an eye lash, Kassie graciously hops on the next flight out of LA and shockingly, heads right back into the chaos of our family to help us out until we can find new help. We finish out the month by joining friends at the Police concert and celebrating Dave’s mom’s birthday in Michigan. We also were allowed to see the filming of the “oh-so-secret-bat-like-movie” while it was in town thanks to our new found location scout friend, Patrick.
August - Su whips up a couple of hurricanes and sends them to Belize just to let Bridget know that we’re thinking of her while she’s sipping her Mai Tai’s on the beach. Delaney turns eight and Su gets mom of the year award. We take Delaney’s 8 friends to the tween sensation, “High School Musical” on stage and then after a couple of calls to the four-fingered mouse, Disney shows HSM2 on television when we return home for the sleep over. Chicago experiences our own mini-hurricane Katrina, and with 75 mile hour winds, we sustain enough damage in the neighborhood to fully appreciate trees and foliage, of which we are sorely missing now. Dave, thankfully, is home for this natural disaster, and we are finally well on the way to basement renovation.
September - After Delaney whines that she wants a puppy (what, the time-share dog K.C. isn’t good enough?), we settle on an animal that requires minimal care and is virtually indestructible – the Hermit Crab. Affectionately referred to as “Hermie”, she makes her public debut at show and tell for school. Su notices that Hermie hasn’t moved in the three days that we’ve had her and is concerned that we sent a dead Hermie to show to tell. After turning off all the lights and conducting her own stare-down with the crab, Hermie finally comes out of its shell, gives Su the finger and promptly goes back into hiding wishing that some other family would have rescued her from the confines of the Meijer fish tank. Days later, we host lots of friends in Michigan for the annual Apple Cider Century ride. We wake to screams of youngsters, “Something’s wrong with Hermie!” It appears that Hermie has rolled on to its back and simply needs to be flipped over. With Dave to the rescue, he gently rolls Hermie over only to have all of its legs go flying all over aquarium. It appears that in the middle of the night, the anti-animal-fairy has brought its mini machete and chopped off all of Hermie’s appendages serving up a crab leg feast fit for a pint-size fairy. Sad, but true, the indestructible Hermie is dead after only 9 days. Dave blames Meijer, Su jumps for joy, and Delaney starts the “can I get a puppy instead” banter.
October - Thanks to the good folks at Children’s, we have medical proof that Max does indeed have a brain. We thought for sure that all those recorded Thomas the Train shows had left a permanent indentation of a train on Max’s impressionable young brain, but alas, it’s all there. Su, feeling quite old, celebrates her 20 year high school reunion. A quick trip (ok, not so quick, more like a week-long vacation) to Salon Blonde rids years of anxiety and general graying on Su’s tresses and momentarily lets Su relive the 80’s. Andrea and Mark make the trek to see us and Oprah, and we learn definitively at dinner that the whole reason Su has kept her maiden name was due to Andrea and our best man making a quick dash to our house after the wedding. You see, Dave tore the marriage license in half to write directions to the house to our best man and promptly gave him the half with the signatures. Without a marriage license, there’s no SS#, and no name change. We end the month with Halloween and the boys requesting to be a Power Ranger and Thomas the Train. Unfortunately, Su got rid of last year’s costumes which also happened to be a Power Ranger and Thomas the Train. After ordering new costumes, it’s quickly realized that Jack’s Power Ranger costume might leave Jack unable to bear children later in life after the too-tight ill-fitting costume debuts in Wrigleyville to the horror of dads everywhere.
November - Nothing says Thanksgiving like family and friends, and three turkeys. We host Dave's family in Michigan and try our hand at smoking a couple of birds. Su even renounced her vegetarian vows to partake of the feast, only to regret it later as she prayed to the porcelain gods. We ended the month with our annual Lakeview Pantry Toy Drive. More than 800 toys were collected in a banner year for this event. K.C., the time-share dog, required surgery to remove a benign tumor. Pet insurance would have been a good idea – boy the kids are going to be surprised when they open up a tumor under the tree for Christmas in lieu of toys.
December - Su has not lost her golden touch for face-value tickets, and following our annual Santa Party, Su took Delaney to the Hannah Take-My-Money-Montana concert. While the squeals of young adults were enough to break the crystal chandeliers, Su found solace just outside the concert doors, with none other the Governor. Yep, the Gov with the good hair and Su chatted it up and Su even got a picture with the Gov while Delaney rocked out the show with the hottest ticket in town. Dave and Su are celebrating what they believe is to be their 10 year anniversary at the end of the month, although it’s questionable that they’ve actually been married for 10 years. While we applied for a license just prior to our wedding, the license wasn’t actually granted for another two years – apparently those signatures are kind of critical to a license. So, we’re either celebrating 8 years of marriage, or 10 – either way, it’s been a wonderful ride and one that neither of us would change for anything.
Monday, July 14, 2008
2006 In Review
December, 2006
It’s that time of year again when you can strap on your seatbelt and enjoy the ride on the highway of family madness. Without further adieu, we present 2006 in review:
December 05/January 06: We hosted Dave’s family in Michigan between Christmas and New Year’s while Dave’s brother Mike used our house in Chicago. What are the odds that our shower in Chicago and our shower in Michigan would simultaneously stop working? We literally had plumbers in both homes at the same time trying to fix the same problem – just 75 miles apart. In the last hurrah of the year, Su and Michelle Charles decided to take the girls to breakfast at the Walnut Room. After waiting in line…outside…for 45 minutes, we finally made in the doors of the hallowed halls of the State Street Marshall Fields to be greeted by the local news channels. “How does it feel to have Marshall Fields CANCEL breakfast on New Year’s Eve? Does it bother you that they never let anyone know?” All we could say was, “Tis the season….”
February: Every February we enjoy the bliss of having happy, sunshine days and no more black clouds over our lives. Of course, this would be the shortest month of the year, but truthfully nothing too exciting to report for February (don’t worry – keep reading, we make up for it later).
March: Delaney is given the “Student of the Month” award at Blaine. She was “caught” cleaning up after some other kids, and generally being quite helpful. Max enters his terrible two’s – as we jokingly say, “If he was the first, he’d be an only child. Dave “advises” Su that he’ll be doing a boy’s ski trip for a long weekend. Oh yeah, and maybe tie in a work trip either before or after the ski trip…or both. Yep – Dave left Su with three kids for NINE days. When you read years from now that Su has taken a month-long girls trip out of the country, you won’t question it and you definitely won’t feel sorry for Dave.
April: Dave, Su and Jack all celebrate birthdays this month. In fact, at dinner our dear friend Emily turned to Su and asked, “Are you celebrating a big one?” Thanks Emily…and the answer of course is “Not yet.” And Dave did manage to remember Su’s birthday with minimal prodding. We spent Easter in Michigan. With Su’s parents watching the kids, Dave and Su snuck out of the house to go purchase goodies for the kids Easter baskets. What happened next is simply a tragedy – on the way to the store, Dave swerves in an effort to miss (which is debatable) a bunny but thankfully not the Easter Bunny… We now have a lucky charm in the tire of our Cooper.
May: Christopher and Emily joined us in Michigan for a weekend away. As many of you may remember, we sold our Union Pier home last year and moved three miles to Three Oaks. Suddenly, after putting the kids to bed and enjoying a glass of wine in the living room, the electricity went out. While all of our neighbors had generators, we being the Chicago-folk ran around the house to find…a battery operated boombox to plug in our IPod. Who needs light if you have good tunes? Christopher and Dave decided to drive around the neighborhood to see how far the outage was and see our neighbors sitting outside on the back of the pickups waiting out the outage. Dave wanted to stop but realized the neighbors wouldn’t appreciate the city folks pulling up in a Mini-Cooper convertible. This leads to Dave’s “brilliant” thought, “Hey, maybe we should get a country car, you know our neighbor’s won’t take us seriously driving around the Cooper”. Good idea, Dave. We have decided we are ‘Citybillys’. Sometimes you can’t take the City out of us as much as we try to fit into the country.
June: Our friends Mike and Helen Cameron (who’s Uncommon restaurant will go unnamed…) used our Michigan home. The pool looked so inviting that who needs swimsuits when you’re on 15 acres, right? Too bad, we failed to advise them when the pool cleaners were coming, We got a note the following week from the pool company to remind our guests the days of service, and to maybe wear their bathing suits. J Delaney has her first lemonade stand, selling lemonade and water to thirsty Cub fans and hiring Max and Jack to “just act cute”. After negotiating a good corner to set up her stand (you don’t want to mess with the regular’s and their corners), Delaney makes $60. After paying Dave and Su their parental commission, Delaney has just enough money to buy a snickers bar. Dave has discovered how to pay for college.
July: We took the kids to see the Su's family in beautiful Seattle, where the sun does not set this time of year until 11:00 p.m. We took the kids to the fireworks, which were held behind a small, 2-story office building. When the alarm system in the office building sounded, we just assumed some juvenile delinquents were trying to break into the building. What we didn’t realize was that one of the fireworks started a brush fire on the back-side of the building. When the flames turned the corner and headed to us, we did as all Seattle-ites do…just take a couple of steps back and continue watching the fireworks. When the flames were finally bigger than the kids, we thought maybe we should head back to the car…and continue to watch the fireworks. Delaney and Jack stay in Seattle with the grandparents while Dave and Su bring Max back home to begin potty training. First time in 7 years we haven’t bought diapers - we now have enough money to buy that Country Car – Dave’s thinking Pickup Truck – Su’s thinking not.
August: Delaney celebrated her seventh birthday. Upon return from a birthday manicure and pedicure (they start young, don’t they) Su and Delaney see a host of police cars and officers in front of our house. Dave rushes Su and Delaney inside while Dave talks with the officers. Apparently, while Su and Delaney were gone, Dave noticed a “strange man” peeking his head in our neighbor’s backyard. So, Dave being the good citizen calls the police. While Dave’s on the phone, the would-be-robber jumps the neighbors fence and takes off with the Trek bike (leaving behind his Huffy…apparently he was trading up). The cops catch him at the corner and thanks to Dave, the neighborhood crime rate has gone down for the month of August. The neighbors all congregate on our front porch to “relive Dave’s heroic actions” when we notice another “strange man” coming out of our gangway. With maybe 15 people on our front porch, the “strange man” was somewhat polite and said “Excuse me” as he tried to dodge the myriad of children. When someone yelled out, “Hey!” the “strange man” took off down the street with Dave and Eric Anderson in pursuit. Since the cops had only made it to the end of the block, they cut him off at the corner and clearly the robber had “been there, done that” as he quickly lay on the ground spread eagle. Turns out while Dave had taken the cops through our garage to show them where the first robber was, the second robber slipped into our garage and broke into our car. Since the second robber was on probation, Dave had to testify in court as the DA was trying to put him away for 8 years. All for stealing a first aid kit out of our car, that we never knew we had. Oh yeah, Jack and Delaney both had their tonsils and adenoids out.
September: Max ran away from home – it’s true. While in Michigan, Max took his blanket, and headed down the driveway and around the corner. Thankfully a neighbor brought him back home – but the lesson learned, “That kid is a sneaky one!” Need a way to insure your spouse never flies again? Simply use their briefcase and then don’t empty it out before your spouse uses it again. As Su was making her way to Florida, she used the “joint” roller-briefcase. Just as she was going through security, Su decides to put her wallet in the front pocket. Funny – it didn’t fit, what’s in there? Su reaches her hand in the front pocket and pulls out a bag of unmarked pills, a giant glue stick, shoelaces, chapstick and the clincher…a giant BOX CUTTER. Yes, pretty much everything was in the briefcase except the Koran and detailed instructions. Thanks Dave! Oh yeah, remember that country car? Not a Pickup but a Jeep which is as country as we could handle at this point.
October/November: October was probably the longest month of 2006, so long that we’re not sure where October ended and November started. Missing the home cooking of the hospital food, Su heads to UCH for a little surgery, anesthesia and R&R. Dave makes Su’s hospital room his personal Yahoo! South office location – even managed to get a WiFi connection in the room. Unfortunately that meant Dave sucked all the energy out of the operating rooms just to stay online. After a couple of days, Su was discharged to go back home where Grandma Lee was waiting to play nurse maid. Five days at home, and Su was ready…to go back to the hospital. Since Dave decided that California was much warmer this time of year, Su recruited Emily to spend far too long in the ER while a room was being found. After another four days, Su was discharged and we sent Grandma Lee back home to Seattle since we had Bridget to care for the kids. After a couple of days at home, Su noticed that Bridget wasn’t looking too good. “Umm...are you okay Bridget? Do you need me to take you to the doctor?” Su loaded up Bridget and Max, bypassed the doctor and went straight to the ER. After getting Bridget admitted, Su brought Max home and contacted Bridget’s husband Seth to go straight to the hospital. An hour later, Su gets a phone call from Seth, “Su, our car broke down.” “Hmm..okay Seth. Take a cab to our house and use our car.” Turns out Bridget’s heart was racing and she was admitted to the cardiac floor. “Mom? I know you’ve only been home for two days, but do you think you might want to fly back to Chicago? The grandkids miss you.” After giving Bridget some much needed rest, we finally sent Grandma Lee packing. And then suddenly it’s Thanksgiving. We hosted Dave’s family in Michigan for our annual Turkey cook-off. And this year? We like to think it was a tie. Su got a phone call late in the evening from Bridget. “Su – Seth and I were driving to the store and then we stopped at the stop sign and got rear ended…by a CTA BUS!” The car was totaled and now Bridget wasn’t feeling too good. “Bridget – get off the phone with me and go to the hospital.” So back to the hospital Bridget went and spent a couple of days getting the best chicken broth and IV fluid diet known to man.
December: We hosted the annual Lakeview Pantry Toy Drive. The weather conditions in Chicago on the day of the party, were nothing short of “tropical” – okay, it was the first big snow storm of the year. But we had 250 people turn out and collected 600+ toys for the kids. As always, we head to IHOP for a greasy breakfast at 2:00 a.m. with the Haites and Su’s brother Jeff. We decided to leave Jeff’s illegally parked car while we’re having breakfast and pick it up on the way back.. One problem, on return at 3:00 a.m. the car is GONE! Welcome to Chicago Jeff, we have tow trucks here…and unfortunately, vandalized of his tip money. Here’s to hoping that Jeff comes back next year! The following weekend, we hosted our annual “Breakfast with Santa”. Since all parties that start in our house eventually end up Murphy’s Bleachers, this was no exception. With 150 people at the party, the best quote of the day was from Beth Murphy who described the party as, “It’s like a Cubs game…just smaller people.” The rest of December will encompass Christmas with family followed by a family vacation on the Disney Cruise with the kids.
It’s that time of year again when you can strap on your seatbelt and enjoy the ride on the highway of family madness. Without further adieu, we present 2006 in review:
December 05/January 06: We hosted Dave’s family in Michigan between Christmas and New Year’s while Dave’s brother Mike used our house in Chicago. What are the odds that our shower in Chicago and our shower in Michigan would simultaneously stop working? We literally had plumbers in both homes at the same time trying to fix the same problem – just 75 miles apart. In the last hurrah of the year, Su and Michelle Charles decided to take the girls to breakfast at the Walnut Room. After waiting in line…outside…for 45 minutes, we finally made in the doors of the hallowed halls of the State Street Marshall Fields to be greeted by the local news channels. “How does it feel to have Marshall Fields CANCEL breakfast on New Year’s Eve? Does it bother you that they never let anyone know?” All we could say was, “Tis the season….”
February: Every February we enjoy the bliss of having happy, sunshine days and no more black clouds over our lives. Of course, this would be the shortest month of the year, but truthfully nothing too exciting to report for February (don’t worry – keep reading, we make up for it later).
March: Delaney is given the “Student of the Month” award at Blaine. She was “caught” cleaning up after some other kids, and generally being quite helpful. Max enters his terrible two’s – as we jokingly say, “If he was the first, he’d be an only child. Dave “advises” Su that he’ll be doing a boy’s ski trip for a long weekend. Oh yeah, and maybe tie in a work trip either before or after the ski trip…or both. Yep – Dave left Su with three kids for NINE days. When you read years from now that Su has taken a month-long girls trip out of the country, you won’t question it and you definitely won’t feel sorry for Dave.
April: Dave, Su and Jack all celebrate birthdays this month. In fact, at dinner our dear friend Emily turned to Su and asked, “Are you celebrating a big one?” Thanks Emily…and the answer of course is “Not yet.” And Dave did manage to remember Su’s birthday with minimal prodding. We spent Easter in Michigan. With Su’s parents watching the kids, Dave and Su snuck out of the house to go purchase goodies for the kids Easter baskets. What happened next is simply a tragedy – on the way to the store, Dave swerves in an effort to miss (which is debatable) a bunny but thankfully not the Easter Bunny… We now have a lucky charm in the tire of our Cooper.
May: Christopher and Emily joined us in Michigan for a weekend away. As many of you may remember, we sold our Union Pier home last year and moved three miles to Three Oaks. Suddenly, after putting the kids to bed and enjoying a glass of wine in the living room, the electricity went out. While all of our neighbors had generators, we being the Chicago-folk ran around the house to find…a battery operated boombox to plug in our IPod. Who needs light if you have good tunes? Christopher and Dave decided to drive around the neighborhood to see how far the outage was and see our neighbors sitting outside on the back of the pickups waiting out the outage. Dave wanted to stop but realized the neighbors wouldn’t appreciate the city folks pulling up in a Mini-Cooper convertible. This leads to Dave’s “brilliant” thought, “Hey, maybe we should get a country car, you know our neighbor’s won’t take us seriously driving around the Cooper”. Good idea, Dave. We have decided we are ‘Citybillys’. Sometimes you can’t take the City out of us as much as we try to fit into the country.
June: Our friends Mike and Helen Cameron (who’s Uncommon restaurant will go unnamed…) used our Michigan home. The pool looked so inviting that who needs swimsuits when you’re on 15 acres, right? Too bad, we failed to advise them when the pool cleaners were coming, We got a note the following week from the pool company to remind our guests the days of service, and to maybe wear their bathing suits. J Delaney has her first lemonade stand, selling lemonade and water to thirsty Cub fans and hiring Max and Jack to “just act cute”. After negotiating a good corner to set up her stand (you don’t want to mess with the regular’s and their corners), Delaney makes $60. After paying Dave and Su their parental commission, Delaney has just enough money to buy a snickers bar. Dave has discovered how to pay for college.
July: We took the kids to see the Su's family in beautiful Seattle, where the sun does not set this time of year until 11:00 p.m. We took the kids to the fireworks, which were held behind a small, 2-story office building. When the alarm system in the office building sounded, we just assumed some juvenile delinquents were trying to break into the building. What we didn’t realize was that one of the fireworks started a brush fire on the back-side of the building. When the flames turned the corner and headed to us, we did as all Seattle-ites do…just take a couple of steps back and continue watching the fireworks. When the flames were finally bigger than the kids, we thought maybe we should head back to the car…and continue to watch the fireworks. Delaney and Jack stay in Seattle with the grandparents while Dave and Su bring Max back home to begin potty training. First time in 7 years we haven’t bought diapers - we now have enough money to buy that Country Car – Dave’s thinking Pickup Truck – Su’s thinking not.
August: Delaney celebrated her seventh birthday. Upon return from a birthday manicure and pedicure (they start young, don’t they) Su and Delaney see a host of police cars and officers in front of our house. Dave rushes Su and Delaney inside while Dave talks with the officers. Apparently, while Su and Delaney were gone, Dave noticed a “strange man” peeking his head in our neighbor’s backyard. So, Dave being the good citizen calls the police. While Dave’s on the phone, the would-be-robber jumps the neighbors fence and takes off with the Trek bike (leaving behind his Huffy…apparently he was trading up). The cops catch him at the corner and thanks to Dave, the neighborhood crime rate has gone down for the month of August. The neighbors all congregate on our front porch to “relive Dave’s heroic actions” when we notice another “strange man” coming out of our gangway. With maybe 15 people on our front porch, the “strange man” was somewhat polite and said “Excuse me” as he tried to dodge the myriad of children. When someone yelled out, “Hey!” the “strange man” took off down the street with Dave and Eric Anderson in pursuit. Since the cops had only made it to the end of the block, they cut him off at the corner and clearly the robber had “been there, done that” as he quickly lay on the ground spread eagle. Turns out while Dave had taken the cops through our garage to show them where the first robber was, the second robber slipped into our garage and broke into our car. Since the second robber was on probation, Dave had to testify in court as the DA was trying to put him away for 8 years. All for stealing a first aid kit out of our car, that we never knew we had. Oh yeah, Jack and Delaney both had their tonsils and adenoids out.
September: Max ran away from home – it’s true. While in Michigan, Max took his blanket, and headed down the driveway and around the corner. Thankfully a neighbor brought him back home – but the lesson learned, “That kid is a sneaky one!” Need a way to insure your spouse never flies again? Simply use their briefcase and then don’t empty it out before your spouse uses it again. As Su was making her way to Florida, she used the “joint” roller-briefcase. Just as she was going through security, Su decides to put her wallet in the front pocket. Funny – it didn’t fit, what’s in there? Su reaches her hand in the front pocket and pulls out a bag of unmarked pills, a giant glue stick, shoelaces, chapstick and the clincher…a giant BOX CUTTER. Yes, pretty much everything was in the briefcase except the Koran and detailed instructions. Thanks Dave! Oh yeah, remember that country car? Not a Pickup but a Jeep which is as country as we could handle at this point.
October/November: October was probably the longest month of 2006, so long that we’re not sure where October ended and November started. Missing the home cooking of the hospital food, Su heads to UCH for a little surgery, anesthesia and R&R. Dave makes Su’s hospital room his personal Yahoo! South office location – even managed to get a WiFi connection in the room. Unfortunately that meant Dave sucked all the energy out of the operating rooms just to stay online. After a couple of days, Su was discharged to go back home where Grandma Lee was waiting to play nurse maid. Five days at home, and Su was ready…to go back to the hospital. Since Dave decided that California was much warmer this time of year, Su recruited Emily to spend far too long in the ER while a room was being found. After another four days, Su was discharged and we sent Grandma Lee back home to Seattle since we had Bridget to care for the kids. After a couple of days at home, Su noticed that Bridget wasn’t looking too good. “Umm...are you okay Bridget? Do you need me to take you to the doctor?” Su loaded up Bridget and Max, bypassed the doctor and went straight to the ER. After getting Bridget admitted, Su brought Max home and contacted Bridget’s husband Seth to go straight to the hospital. An hour later, Su gets a phone call from Seth, “Su, our car broke down.” “Hmm..okay Seth. Take a cab to our house and use our car.” Turns out Bridget’s heart was racing and she was admitted to the cardiac floor. “Mom? I know you’ve only been home for two days, but do you think you might want to fly back to Chicago? The grandkids miss you.” After giving Bridget some much needed rest, we finally sent Grandma Lee packing. And then suddenly it’s Thanksgiving. We hosted Dave’s family in Michigan for our annual Turkey cook-off. And this year? We like to think it was a tie. Su got a phone call late in the evening from Bridget. “Su – Seth and I were driving to the store and then we stopped at the stop sign and got rear ended…by a CTA BUS!” The car was totaled and now Bridget wasn’t feeling too good. “Bridget – get off the phone with me and go to the hospital.” So back to the hospital Bridget went and spent a couple of days getting the best chicken broth and IV fluid diet known to man.
December: We hosted the annual Lakeview Pantry Toy Drive. The weather conditions in Chicago on the day of the party, were nothing short of “tropical” – okay, it was the first big snow storm of the year. But we had 250 people turn out and collected 600+ toys for the kids. As always, we head to IHOP for a greasy breakfast at 2:00 a.m. with the Haites and Su’s brother Jeff. We decided to leave Jeff’s illegally parked car while we’re having breakfast and pick it up on the way back.. One problem, on return at 3:00 a.m. the car is GONE! Welcome to Chicago Jeff, we have tow trucks here…and unfortunately, vandalized of his tip money. Here’s to hoping that Jeff comes back next year! The following weekend, we hosted our annual “Breakfast with Santa”. Since all parties that start in our house eventually end up Murphy’s Bleachers, this was no exception. With 150 people at the party, the best quote of the day was from Beth Murphy who described the party as, “It’s like a Cubs game…just smaller people.” The rest of December will encompass Christmas with family followed by a family vacation on the Disney Cruise with the kids.
2005 In Review
December, 2005
The time is finally here when you can grab that cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy the ongoing insanity, also known as our Family Holiday Letter. Here goes….
December/January – Dave and Su took their first adult-only extended vacation after Christmas to none other than Puerto Rico. But no travel experience is complete without at least one final, year-ending travel curse. While our plane tickets were redeemed using our Merrill Lynch miles, apparently Su’s ticket was “ticketed” but never “purchased” – in other words, we walked up to the gate, had our confirmation number but was denied boarding unless we purchased a new ticket (this only took 90 minutes to figure out). You don’t want to know what a last minute ticket costs to Puerto Rico…..
February – February always seems to be the month where relatively little happens (I realize I am now sending a curse our way every February for committing this to writing….) Jack fell and hit his head on the armoire creating quite the gash…being the little trooper we played “Operation” at home and thought all was well. Recently, Jack pointed to his “still-there-scar” and said, “Mommy, I like the hole in my head.” Good…looks like it will be there for a while.
March – Nothing says family like bringing the Su's extended family clan together for a Disney Family Vacation and Cruise. And to start off the cruise, Dave conveniently “meets Su” in Florida (two years in a row) and leaves Su with two kids to get through Midway (poor Max stayed back home). Su realized that the travel curse really is hereditary when the gate agent for Southwest denied boarding to Delaney because she was on the FBI no-fly list. After showing passports and at least convincing the agents that Delaney was not a terrorist (we just wanted to see Mickey), Su then steps in the longest security line to board the flight. Two Chicago police officers pulled Su out of line saying, “You match the description of someone we are looking for.” Su said something along the lines of, “You mean harried mom traveling alone with two kids, one of which is on the FBI no-fly list. That description?” Oh yes, Max also turns the big one.
April – We could write an entire novel on April…seriously. First it started with Dave conveniently forgetting Su’s birthday…okay, not entirely, but Barb had to send Dave an e-mail with an end-of-the-day reminder that it was her birthday. But that pales in comparison with Dave’s next banner moment. Dave thought he had signed up for e-pay for People’s Gas where they magically suck money out of your account to pay for your gas bill. When Su couldn’t get the stove to light, we quickly realized that Dave actually signed up for e-bill there they magically send your bills to your e-mail account...an account that Dave never checks. Yes, it’s true, we got our gas shut off. And to add insult to injury, the gas company refused to hook us up for another week – this was the coldest week in April with highs in the 20’s. No gas means no heat, no stove, no hot water. So Su pulled her best Desperate Housewives act and rang multiple neighbors’ doorbells with various excuses to shower while Dave conveniently skipped out to a pre-work workout at the club with the hot showers. And the kids, well, they smelled for a week. Jack turns three!
May – Spring is here which means it’s never better to live close to Wrigley Field than when they have Neighbor’s Day. Through the lottery, we won a spot to have a picnic with the kids on Wrigley Field. Being city kids, they didn’t quite know what to do with all that grass. In fact, Max crawled around the outfield eating the grass like a cow. Before leaving the event, Max appropriately “christened” the outfield – I guess the chemical-enhanced grass did not sit well in his tummy.
June – We were about to start rehabbing our Michigan house when Dave casually suggested that we look at other properties that might be available. While Dave enjoyed the Red Sox/Cubs game, Su headed up to Michigan to look at a couple of properties. The first property Dave had already saw and was ready to make an offer. When Su saw it, the dead dog in the backyard was a sure sign that the house was not meant to be and therefore ventured to house #2. House #2 had 15 acres on the Galien River and while not exactly Su’s idea of a beach cottage, had Dave’s name written all over it (we don’t have grass in the city, this house has LOTS of grass for Dave to cut). In a strange turn of events, our realtor told us she had someone that might be interested in our cottage (don’t they all say that?) but indeed it was true and the stars were aligned. We had an acceptable offer on our home by noon and our offer on the new house was accepted by 12:30 that same day.
July – July was a busy month. First, Su went to the NFL Mom’s convention for a cookbook she was working on with the group and Campbell’s – her claim to fame was getting “Honorary Mom Lucille O’Neal” (if you saw the pictures, you would know what famous basketball son she is the mom of) in the Congo line after dinner. Su also pitched in as make-up assistant for the Mother/Son fashion show (hard to believe, I know) and was then interviewed on ESPN with such stimulating questions as, “How long does it take to get the moms ready…what’s your make-up secrets.” We then went to Boston and the Cape with Dave’s family to celebrate Rick’s 60th birthday. And we capped off the month with a trip to the emergency room when Su suddenly had a “water baby” (gained 6” to my waistline in two hours – this is the third one). Since my charts said something along the lines of, “Mom of three complains of getting fat”, they made me wait in the chairs for six long hours. Finally, after Max was teased for being the last kid that still crawls, our neighbor Cindy suggests that Stride Rite makes great walking shoes (I guess the Payless versions weren’t working) so Dave took Max to the Stride Rite store to be fitted. Max crawled into the store and – no kidding – walked out of the store all the way to the car. For months to come, he would only walk if he was wearing his magic (read: expensive) shoes.
August – Delaney turns six and we close on the house in Michigan. Su get her fourth “water baby” and it looks like this one is here to stay for a while. Darn….we gave all of Su’s maternity clothes to our sister-in-law Sarah who is expecting their first child in March.
September – In case you didn’t know, Su sidelines as a ticket broker to the rich and famous. After scoring good seats for the Red Sox/Cubs game, Su tries her hand for Buffett tickets. Not only does she get great tickets, but gets Center Stage front row tickets. Needless to say, we sell the tickets for $800/ticket (paid $130/ticket) to the ticket broker and bank the money for our next family vacation. Su finds out that her magic touch is only effective for concert tickets and sporting events and does not apply to Body Worlds. After waiting far too long, Su and her sister Kim, venture out to Body Worlds with the only time slot available over Labor Day weekend…3:00 a.m.
October – Nothing says city living like Halloween weekend. After being awakened from a deep sleep around 4:00 a.m., Dave yells to Su to call the cops as two people are trying to break down our front door. When asked by the cops to give a description, Dave says, “Zorro with a Sombrero hat and a fat guy in a wig.” Turns out our very drunk, young, neighbors mistakenly thought our house was theirs. An expensive mistake to learn after shattering the custom glass in our front door.
November – After spending six months attempting to find the source of the Water Baby in Chicago, Su heads to Mayo Clinic with her sister-in-law Lisa acting as medical interpreter and Dave. Su’s medical knowledge is limited to what she learns by watching ER and quickly learns that saying “stat” at the end of each sentence when talking to her docs is rather annoying. The source of the water baby is discovered and manageable with medication. After a couple of pills, it magically goes away and Su can forever (really) hang up her maternity clothes.
December – We once again hosted the annual Lakeview Pantry Toy Drive where we collected 650 gifts, raised over $2000 and had 300 people turn out for the event. The following weekend, (because Su is legitimately crazy) we also hosted a Santa Party at our house for the kids. We thought this year’s party would be a breeze as Su worked out a deal to use the vacant neighbor’s coach house. About five minutes after bringing supplies into the coach house, we hear a crack and a gush of water. Yep – the pipes burst and the coach house flooded. What a way to end the year!
The time is finally here when you can grab that cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy the ongoing insanity, also known as our Family Holiday Letter. Here goes….
December/January – Dave and Su took their first adult-only extended vacation after Christmas to none other than Puerto Rico. But no travel experience is complete without at least one final, year-ending travel curse. While our plane tickets were redeemed using our Merrill Lynch miles, apparently Su’s ticket was “ticketed” but never “purchased” – in other words, we walked up to the gate, had our confirmation number but was denied boarding unless we purchased a new ticket (this only took 90 minutes to figure out). You don’t want to know what a last minute ticket costs to Puerto Rico…..
February – February always seems to be the month where relatively little happens (I realize I am now sending a curse our way every February for committing this to writing….) Jack fell and hit his head on the armoire creating quite the gash…being the little trooper we played “Operation” at home and thought all was well. Recently, Jack pointed to his “still-there-scar” and said, “Mommy, I like the hole in my head.” Good…looks like it will be there for a while.
March – Nothing says family like bringing the Su's extended family clan together for a Disney Family Vacation and Cruise. And to start off the cruise, Dave conveniently “meets Su” in Florida (two years in a row) and leaves Su with two kids to get through Midway (poor Max stayed back home). Su realized that the travel curse really is hereditary when the gate agent for Southwest denied boarding to Delaney because she was on the FBI no-fly list. After showing passports and at least convincing the agents that Delaney was not a terrorist (we just wanted to see Mickey), Su then steps in the longest security line to board the flight. Two Chicago police officers pulled Su out of line saying, “You match the description of someone we are looking for.” Su said something along the lines of, “You mean harried mom traveling alone with two kids, one of which is on the FBI no-fly list. That description?” Oh yes, Max also turns the big one.
April – We could write an entire novel on April…seriously. First it started with Dave conveniently forgetting Su’s birthday…okay, not entirely, but Barb had to send Dave an e-mail with an end-of-the-day reminder that it was her birthday. But that pales in comparison with Dave’s next banner moment. Dave thought he had signed up for e-pay for People’s Gas where they magically suck money out of your account to pay for your gas bill. When Su couldn’t get the stove to light, we quickly realized that Dave actually signed up for e-bill there they magically send your bills to your e-mail account...an account that Dave never checks. Yes, it’s true, we got our gas shut off. And to add insult to injury, the gas company refused to hook us up for another week – this was the coldest week in April with highs in the 20’s. No gas means no heat, no stove, no hot water. So Su pulled her best Desperate Housewives act and rang multiple neighbors’ doorbells with various excuses to shower while Dave conveniently skipped out to a pre-work workout at the club with the hot showers. And the kids, well, they smelled for a week. Jack turns three!
May – Spring is here which means it’s never better to live close to Wrigley Field than when they have Neighbor’s Day. Through the lottery, we won a spot to have a picnic with the kids on Wrigley Field. Being city kids, they didn’t quite know what to do with all that grass. In fact, Max crawled around the outfield eating the grass like a cow. Before leaving the event, Max appropriately “christened” the outfield – I guess the chemical-enhanced grass did not sit well in his tummy.
June – We were about to start rehabbing our Michigan house when Dave casually suggested that we look at other properties that might be available. While Dave enjoyed the Red Sox/Cubs game, Su headed up to Michigan to look at a couple of properties. The first property Dave had already saw and was ready to make an offer. When Su saw it, the dead dog in the backyard was a sure sign that the house was not meant to be and therefore ventured to house #2. House #2 had 15 acres on the Galien River and while not exactly Su’s idea of a beach cottage, had Dave’s name written all over it (we don’t have grass in the city, this house has LOTS of grass for Dave to cut). In a strange turn of events, our realtor told us she had someone that might be interested in our cottage (don’t they all say that?) but indeed it was true and the stars were aligned. We had an acceptable offer on our home by noon and our offer on the new house was accepted by 12:30 that same day.
July – July was a busy month. First, Su went to the NFL Mom’s convention for a cookbook she was working on with the group and Campbell’s – her claim to fame was getting “Honorary Mom Lucille O’Neal” (if you saw the pictures, you would know what famous basketball son she is the mom of) in the Congo line after dinner. Su also pitched in as make-up assistant for the Mother/Son fashion show (hard to believe, I know) and was then interviewed on ESPN with such stimulating questions as, “How long does it take to get the moms ready…what’s your make-up secrets.” We then went to Boston and the Cape with Dave’s family to celebrate Rick’s 60th birthday. And we capped off the month with a trip to the emergency room when Su suddenly had a “water baby” (gained 6” to my waistline in two hours – this is the third one). Since my charts said something along the lines of, “Mom of three complains of getting fat”, they made me wait in the chairs for six long hours. Finally, after Max was teased for being the last kid that still crawls, our neighbor Cindy suggests that Stride Rite makes great walking shoes (I guess the Payless versions weren’t working) so Dave took Max to the Stride Rite store to be fitted. Max crawled into the store and – no kidding – walked out of the store all the way to the car. For months to come, he would only walk if he was wearing his magic (read: expensive) shoes.
August – Delaney turns six and we close on the house in Michigan. Su get her fourth “water baby” and it looks like this one is here to stay for a while. Darn….we gave all of Su’s maternity clothes to our sister-in-law Sarah who is expecting their first child in March.
September – In case you didn’t know, Su sidelines as a ticket broker to the rich and famous. After scoring good seats for the Red Sox/Cubs game, Su tries her hand for Buffett tickets. Not only does she get great tickets, but gets Center Stage front row tickets. Needless to say, we sell the tickets for $800/ticket (paid $130/ticket) to the ticket broker and bank the money for our next family vacation. Su finds out that her magic touch is only effective for concert tickets and sporting events and does not apply to Body Worlds. After waiting far too long, Su and her sister Kim, venture out to Body Worlds with the only time slot available over Labor Day weekend…3:00 a.m.
October – Nothing says city living like Halloween weekend. After being awakened from a deep sleep around 4:00 a.m., Dave yells to Su to call the cops as two people are trying to break down our front door. When asked by the cops to give a description, Dave says, “Zorro with a Sombrero hat and a fat guy in a wig.” Turns out our very drunk, young, neighbors mistakenly thought our house was theirs. An expensive mistake to learn after shattering the custom glass in our front door.
November – After spending six months attempting to find the source of the Water Baby in Chicago, Su heads to Mayo Clinic with her sister-in-law Lisa acting as medical interpreter and Dave. Su’s medical knowledge is limited to what she learns by watching ER and quickly learns that saying “stat” at the end of each sentence when talking to her docs is rather annoying. The source of the water baby is discovered and manageable with medication. After a couple of pills, it magically goes away and Su can forever (really) hang up her maternity clothes.
December – We once again hosted the annual Lakeview Pantry Toy Drive where we collected 650 gifts, raised over $2000 and had 300 people turn out for the event. The following weekend, (because Su is legitimately crazy) we also hosted a Santa Party at our house for the kids. We thought this year’s party would be a breeze as Su worked out a deal to use the vacant neighbor’s coach house. About five minutes after bringing supplies into the coach house, we hear a crack and a gush of water. Yep – the pipes burst and the coach house flooded. What a way to end the year!
2004 In Review
December 2004
It’s that time of year again when I scratch my head and desperately try to find the unusual in our lives. A small change this year, Dave always complains that I write in the third person, “Only Leon the Budweiser commercial guy talks in the third person”, so I’ve now have done a global change of “Su” to “I” and “We” as Dave has taken to editing the letter (Please note – one page front and back; 10 point type). Enjoy!
December 2003/January 2004: - Since our last letter, Dave’s brother John married Sarah on December 27th in Ann Arbor, MI. In an attempt to make the wedding, see my parents in Seattle and get a few days of skiing in Whistler, we figured we were physically in 4 time zones in a period of 4 days. Our bodies are still recuperating from the jet lag. Dave skied for the first time (okay, I’m taking some liberties here, if he’s skied before, you wouldn’t have known….) and Delaney took her first ski lessons. The kid’s ski lessons were going well until Delaney led all the kids away from the teacher to do snow angels. I, being six month pregnant, was the only person in Whistler with child. Needless to say, I spent more time enjoying the use of Dave’s credit cards than watching Dave in his “Dumb and Dumber” gear make it down the mountain.
February - Seriously, nothing exciting happened this month. It’s pretty much a blur as I gestated, ate bon-bons, and opted to order room service for our romantic Valentine’s Day weekend which happened to be the day the Yankees “announced A-Rod”. Oh the romance.
March - About two weeks before my due date, I woke up in the middle of the night with rather strong Braxton Hicks contractions (you would think by the third child I would know the difference….) As opposed to waking up Dave immediately, I patiently counted the contractions until I felt fairly certain that I was in labor. Dave did his panicked Dick van Dyke, tripped over the ottoman and asked me where the bag was when I’m fairly certain I yelled something along the lines of “Bag? This baby isn’t due for two weeks!” Dave managed to pack some rather interesting items in the overnight bag (shirt, no pants, you get the idea). By the time we got to the hospital, child #3 out of 14 was born a mere 90 minutes later. I, having such terrific mother’s intuition, was convinced we were having a girl - imagine our surprise when the doc said, “It’s a boy…what are you naming him?” Needless to say, Baby Oliveira wasn’t named for a little bit. Maxwell Theodore Oliveira was born on March 13 and weighed in at 8 pounds 14 ounces, the runt of the litter. Why Max? Well, we loved the name although we were surprised to find it the most popular pet name. “Here Max Here Max” takes on a whole new meaning.
April - The highlight of the month had to be Delaney’s ballet recital. Our perfect angel dressed in her ballet finest to perform in front of all of the children and their parents. Little did we know that someone stole Delaney and replaced her with a three-headed ballet monster. The ballet instructor read the Toy Story and asked each girl to dance with the Woody Doll. I’m sure Delaney thought she said, “Don’t dance, stomp on Woody and have the other ballerinas look on in horror”. And to think this is captured in dozens of camcorders. Too bad – she looked so cute and could really do some actual ballet moves. On a side note, Jack officially enters his terrible two’s, I’m officially in my mid-thirties and Dave is stretching the definition of “early thirties” (yes, he constantly reminds me he is the younger one….)
May - May begins the month of checking things off of “There’s no way I would ever do that…” list. At the top of the list was the constant battle of we-have-three-kids-and-need-a-minivan. Frankly, I believe Dave wanted a minivan before he ever met me. So, after trying to squeeze three carseats in the Bavarian Bobsled, we thought it was time to get the car that drives through three zip codes at once. I swear I saw Dave dancing in the street….Dave’s brother John named his dog, Trot, after a Red Sox left fielder thankfully removing any chance of a future child of taking the name of “a fast walk yet not quite a run”.
June - I could write a novel on kindergarten admissions for Chicago – tougher than college! After securing a spot for Delaney at St. Andrews, we began to stress out about the commute and decided that perhaps the best place for Delaney was the public school she had attended for pre-school. We were informed that we were too late and lived outside of the attendance area. After utilizing some solid Chicago politics, Delaney found her way back at Blaine.
July - I thought I had outflown and outmaneuvered the dreaded Bermingham travel curse. After two TSA agents pulled two passengers off my Chicago-Philly flight, I should have realized this was going to be the trip from hell. I checked into my very nice hotel on Monday and was planning to depart on Wednesday. On Tuesday morning, I realized there was an outside chance I could make a flight back to Chicago if my meetings went well. I asked to split my reservation into two separate reservations so I could come back, if needed. “No problem, happy to help you” is what I believe the front desk clerk said as I left. As my day progressed, I realized there was no way I was making it back to Chicago, but that’s okay, I figured I had a nice room, what could be so bad? We worked late into the night, left Campbell’s out of the night entrance, had dinner with my client and finally, at 11:30 at night, headed back to my hotel. I suddenly remembered that, egads, I had left my overnight bag at Campbell’s at the main entrance. Ever try driving to Camden at 11:30 at night? From there it was on to the hotel. No reservations – sorry sold out. Ugh. My client, Erin, offered to put me up in her house. While I was happy to sleep on a bed, I especially enjoyed the touches of home, including the screaming baby and little sleep. The next day I was ready to get back to Chicago. All snug in my seat reading the latest People magazine, the gate agent comes on board to ask all of us to grab our belongings and exit immediately. Apparently, the entire Philadelphia airport had been evacuated and I was now one of about 3,000 people trying to figure out how to get home. Come to find out, it was a “fire/terror drill” and the FBI was never notified.
August - We decided to take a week’s vacation and take the kids up to Michigan to become one with nature, literally. I believe I woke up all of Union Pier with my blood curdling screams when a mouse (alright, in the middle of the night it looked like a rat) ran across the bedroom floor. At the end of the month, I took Delaney to Disneyland for her fifth birthday while Dave relaxed at home with the boys. The Great Flood of Chicago hit Kenmore street, again – so much for “less-than-a-year-old” carpeting in the basement. Dave enjoyed being Noah while I enjoyed the sunny, dry weather of California. Jack is now out of diapers leaving only one butt to wipe in the house.
September - Delaney started kindergarten in her blue and white finest – nothing is better than a uniform in the morning. Months of schmoozing with principals and Chicago politicking has finally culminated in homework every night and a super tired kid. In an effort to appear hip and happening, we decided to get a second car to compliment the mini-van. And what better compliment, a Mini Cooper Convertible, a car you can actually park inside the mini-van, thus making it the true urban assault vehicle.
October - Pigs fly! Hell is frozen over! Yes, the beloved Red Sox beat the Yankees and actually won the World Series. Thank goodness I wasn’t pregnant now, or I’m sure little Max would be named Johnny Damon. Dave made the trek to St. Louis for the Kodak moment of the first Red Sox victory in 86 years and fulfilled the dreams of all Oliveiras that have gone before him– too bad he left his camera in the hotel room. The kids were awoken to witness (with their eyes closed) the victory that has escaped many Red Sox fans over the years. Dave is convinced that Max is the “chosen one” and his birth reversed the curse. Needless to say Dave and the rest of the family is still walking on water.
November - Jack, loving fire trucks, decided it was time to have all of Chicago’s finest pay at visit to our humble abode. Jack managed to find the ADT remote, thinking he was turning on the TV, set the alarm to both the firehouse and the police station. Only 13 police officers and firemen arrived at our house to find our family on the front steps while Dave and Su blissfully toiled away at their jobs. Upon hearing the news, Su raced home to insure everyone that Jack only wanted a fire truck for Christmas and thought this was the best way to remind us.
December - Max has started the army crawl throughout the house – perfect to find all those things we lost under the beds. The beginning of December started pretty “calm” – hosting the Lakeview Pantry Toy Drive where we collected 700 gifts and then the following weekend hosting our annual Santa Party at our house. And I decided to leave the mayhem of Chicago for yet another trip to Philly…without my I.D. In case you are wondering, a Costco card with your picture works wonders!
It’s that time of year again when I scratch my head and desperately try to find the unusual in our lives. A small change this year, Dave always complains that I write in the third person, “Only Leon the Budweiser commercial guy talks in the third person”, so I’ve now have done a global change of “Su” to “I” and “We” as Dave has taken to editing the letter (Please note – one page front and back; 10 point type). Enjoy!
December 2003/January 2004: - Since our last letter, Dave’s brother John married Sarah on December 27th in Ann Arbor, MI. In an attempt to make the wedding, see my parents in Seattle and get a few days of skiing in Whistler, we figured we were physically in 4 time zones in a period of 4 days. Our bodies are still recuperating from the jet lag. Dave skied for the first time (okay, I’m taking some liberties here, if he’s skied before, you wouldn’t have known….) and Delaney took her first ski lessons. The kid’s ski lessons were going well until Delaney led all the kids away from the teacher to do snow angels. I, being six month pregnant, was the only person in Whistler with child. Needless to say, I spent more time enjoying the use of Dave’s credit cards than watching Dave in his “Dumb and Dumber” gear make it down the mountain.
February - Seriously, nothing exciting happened this month. It’s pretty much a blur as I gestated, ate bon-bons, and opted to order room service for our romantic Valentine’s Day weekend which happened to be the day the Yankees “announced A-Rod”. Oh the romance.
March - About two weeks before my due date, I woke up in the middle of the night with rather strong Braxton Hicks contractions (you would think by the third child I would know the difference….) As opposed to waking up Dave immediately, I patiently counted the contractions until I felt fairly certain that I was in labor. Dave did his panicked Dick van Dyke, tripped over the ottoman and asked me where the bag was when I’m fairly certain I yelled something along the lines of “Bag? This baby isn’t due for two weeks!” Dave managed to pack some rather interesting items in the overnight bag (shirt, no pants, you get the idea). By the time we got to the hospital, child #3 out of 14 was born a mere 90 minutes later. I, having such terrific mother’s intuition, was convinced we were having a girl - imagine our surprise when the doc said, “It’s a boy…what are you naming him?” Needless to say, Baby Oliveira wasn’t named for a little bit. Maxwell Theodore Oliveira was born on March 13 and weighed in at 8 pounds 14 ounces, the runt of the litter. Why Max? Well, we loved the name although we were surprised to find it the most popular pet name. “Here Max Here Max” takes on a whole new meaning.
April - The highlight of the month had to be Delaney’s ballet recital. Our perfect angel dressed in her ballet finest to perform in front of all of the children and their parents. Little did we know that someone stole Delaney and replaced her with a three-headed ballet monster. The ballet instructor read the Toy Story and asked each girl to dance with the Woody Doll. I’m sure Delaney thought she said, “Don’t dance, stomp on Woody and have the other ballerinas look on in horror”. And to think this is captured in dozens of camcorders. Too bad – she looked so cute and could really do some actual ballet moves. On a side note, Jack officially enters his terrible two’s, I’m officially in my mid-thirties and Dave is stretching the definition of “early thirties” (yes, he constantly reminds me he is the younger one….)
May - May begins the month of checking things off of “There’s no way I would ever do that…” list. At the top of the list was the constant battle of we-have-three-kids-and-need-a-minivan. Frankly, I believe Dave wanted a minivan before he ever met me. So, after trying to squeeze three carseats in the Bavarian Bobsled, we thought it was time to get the car that drives through three zip codes at once. I swear I saw Dave dancing in the street….Dave’s brother John named his dog, Trot, after a Red Sox left fielder thankfully removing any chance of a future child of taking the name of “a fast walk yet not quite a run”.
June - I could write a novel on kindergarten admissions for Chicago – tougher than college! After securing a spot for Delaney at St. Andrews, we began to stress out about the commute and decided that perhaps the best place for Delaney was the public school she had attended for pre-school. We were informed that we were too late and lived outside of the attendance area. After utilizing some solid Chicago politics, Delaney found her way back at Blaine.
July - I thought I had outflown and outmaneuvered the dreaded Bermingham travel curse. After two TSA agents pulled two passengers off my Chicago-Philly flight, I should have realized this was going to be the trip from hell. I checked into my very nice hotel on Monday and was planning to depart on Wednesday. On Tuesday morning, I realized there was an outside chance I could make a flight back to Chicago if my meetings went well. I asked to split my reservation into two separate reservations so I could come back, if needed. “No problem, happy to help you” is what I believe the front desk clerk said as I left. As my day progressed, I realized there was no way I was making it back to Chicago, but that’s okay, I figured I had a nice room, what could be so bad? We worked late into the night, left Campbell’s out of the night entrance, had dinner with my client and finally, at 11:30 at night, headed back to my hotel. I suddenly remembered that, egads, I had left my overnight bag at Campbell’s at the main entrance. Ever try driving to Camden at 11:30 at night? From there it was on to the hotel. No reservations – sorry sold out. Ugh. My client, Erin, offered to put me up in her house. While I was happy to sleep on a bed, I especially enjoyed the touches of home, including the screaming baby and little sleep. The next day I was ready to get back to Chicago. All snug in my seat reading the latest People magazine, the gate agent comes on board to ask all of us to grab our belongings and exit immediately. Apparently, the entire Philadelphia airport had been evacuated and I was now one of about 3,000 people trying to figure out how to get home. Come to find out, it was a “fire/terror drill” and the FBI was never notified.
August - We decided to take a week’s vacation and take the kids up to Michigan to become one with nature, literally. I believe I woke up all of Union Pier with my blood curdling screams when a mouse (alright, in the middle of the night it looked like a rat) ran across the bedroom floor. At the end of the month, I took Delaney to Disneyland for her fifth birthday while Dave relaxed at home with the boys. The Great Flood of Chicago hit Kenmore street, again – so much for “less-than-a-year-old” carpeting in the basement. Dave enjoyed being Noah while I enjoyed the sunny, dry weather of California. Jack is now out of diapers leaving only one butt to wipe in the house.
September - Delaney started kindergarten in her blue and white finest – nothing is better than a uniform in the morning. Months of schmoozing with principals and Chicago politicking has finally culminated in homework every night and a super tired kid. In an effort to appear hip and happening, we decided to get a second car to compliment the mini-van. And what better compliment, a Mini Cooper Convertible, a car you can actually park inside the mini-van, thus making it the true urban assault vehicle.
October - Pigs fly! Hell is frozen over! Yes, the beloved Red Sox beat the Yankees and actually won the World Series. Thank goodness I wasn’t pregnant now, or I’m sure little Max would be named Johnny Damon. Dave made the trek to St. Louis for the Kodak moment of the first Red Sox victory in 86 years and fulfilled the dreams of all Oliveiras that have gone before him– too bad he left his camera in the hotel room. The kids were awoken to witness (with their eyes closed) the victory that has escaped many Red Sox fans over the years. Dave is convinced that Max is the “chosen one” and his birth reversed the curse. Needless to say Dave and the rest of the family is still walking on water.
November - Jack, loving fire trucks, decided it was time to have all of Chicago’s finest pay at visit to our humble abode. Jack managed to find the ADT remote, thinking he was turning on the TV, set the alarm to both the firehouse and the police station. Only 13 police officers and firemen arrived at our house to find our family on the front steps while Dave and Su blissfully toiled away at their jobs. Upon hearing the news, Su raced home to insure everyone that Jack only wanted a fire truck for Christmas and thought this was the best way to remind us.
December - Max has started the army crawl throughout the house – perfect to find all those things we lost under the beds. The beginning of December started pretty “calm” – hosting the Lakeview Pantry Toy Drive where we collected 700 gifts and then the following weekend hosting our annual Santa Party at our house. And I decided to leave the mayhem of Chicago for yet another trip to Philly…without my I.D. In case you are wondering, a Costco card with your picture works wonders!
Introduction
Alright, I'm a blogging virgin. So, why in the world would I venture into the cul-de-sac of online bloggers barely wearing my internet condom to protect me from the harsh world of critics? Simply put, I'm 39 and had hoped to chronicle the last year of my 30s before all went downhill. You know what I mean - I'm sure once I turn forty, I'll wake up with head full of gray hair (well on my way), have to roll my boobs back from wear gravity now calls them home, and I'll begin to lose my memory (I'm sure I have early onset Alzheimer's).
I had hoped to start this blog on my birthday - April 5th. As you can see, I'm a bit late, but really - starting in July - 9 months before my 40th is rather fitting. It's like birthing the blog baby, which I'm sure is far less painful than the three children that call me mom.
For those of you that have stumbled upon this post, wondering if a working mid-western mom has anything remotely interesting to say - well, let me just say that you don't me or my family very well. We are the epitomy of chaos - if the suns are shining all around us - rest assured, there is a black cloud with hurricane force winds firmly following our every step.
In order to get everyone up to speed - we need to do a little ABC Lost flash-backs. I'll give you the basics to get started:
3 Kids - Delaney, Jack and Max
1 Husband - Dave
Dave and I are a carbon neutral couple, almost like a hybrid car. He works on the internet saving trees, I cut down trees publishing cookbooks. My kids used to think I had the cooler job (free books!), but I have lost out to the "they still do that in corporate America" internet game room at Dave's job, complete with Wii, shuffleboard, free drinks and snacks, etc. Needless to say, I'm booking the next kids birthday party at Dave's work.
I digress - in order to get everyone up to speed on the chaos of our life, I am posting our Christmas blogs, formerly known as our annual Christmas newsletter. Yes, you too, can read first hand about the chaos of our lives. Then, we'll back track to June, because frankly, I could write an entire book on June. Not in the "awesome" way that my youngest Max constantly says, but June could be chalked up to, "You've got to be kidding me."
Enjoy the next nine months of labored blogging - without an epidural! Ouch!
I had hoped to start this blog on my birthday - April 5th. As you can see, I'm a bit late, but really - starting in July - 9 months before my 40th is rather fitting. It's like birthing the blog baby, which I'm sure is far less painful than the three children that call me mom.
For those of you that have stumbled upon this post, wondering if a working mid-western mom has anything remotely interesting to say - well, let me just say that you don't me or my family very well. We are the epitomy of chaos - if the suns are shining all around us - rest assured, there is a black cloud with hurricane force winds firmly following our every step.
In order to get everyone up to speed - we need to do a little ABC Lost flash-backs. I'll give you the basics to get started:
3 Kids - Delaney, Jack and Max
1 Husband - Dave
Dave and I are a carbon neutral couple, almost like a hybrid car. He works on the internet saving trees, I cut down trees publishing cookbooks. My kids used to think I had the cooler job (free books!), but I have lost out to the "they still do that in corporate America" internet game room at Dave's job, complete with Wii, shuffleboard, free drinks and snacks, etc. Needless to say, I'm booking the next kids birthday party at Dave's work.
I digress - in order to get everyone up to speed on the chaos of our life, I am posting our Christmas blogs, formerly known as our annual Christmas newsletter. Yes, you too, can read first hand about the chaos of our lives. Then, we'll back track to June, because frankly, I could write an entire book on June. Not in the "awesome" way that my youngest Max constantly says, but June could be chalked up to, "You've got to be kidding me."
Enjoy the next nine months of labored blogging - without an epidural! Ouch!
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